March 2008

Shadow ~ Light Yin ~ Yang Contract ~ Expand

It was the didgeridoo healing session on the beach one morning in Mexico that changed it all for me. Through a not-so-fluent interpreter, I understood that this sound healing would harmonize my chakras and balance my emotions. Forty-five minutes later, I left feeling heavy, grounded, slowed down. And as I slowed down, I became connected to earth energies and a deep place within myself. In the month since the session, as I have gone to ever-deeper places of stillness and introspection, one thing has become clear: life as I live it now is not sustainable-- physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally I cannot support teaching 7 classes a week. I came to this valley a year and a half ago with visions that I would introduce Nia to Glenwood. I was here but a month and a half when Fate let me know that I would be sharing Nia not just with Glenwood, but with Carbondale, and shortly thereafter, Aspen. Initially, I resisted these changes to "my plan," but in hindsight, I soon realized just how fortuitous this unexpected twist in the road was, not only for me and Sol Nia, but for my students in Carbondale and Aspen who came to class and "got" Nia just as I had. And now, Fate seems to be working her way with me again, and I am in this new (for me) practice of trusting that all is well and the Universe is benevolent and letting go of control and remaining open to possibilities. I am also beginning to play with my powers of manifestation using visualization, appreciation and expectation. I have my wall of inspiration (visualization), that I am adding images and words to practically daily now; I awaken in the morning and my first thought is, "What am I grateful for in this very moment?" (appreciation); and I have been "acting as if" (expectation), feeling my way into the emotional space of what my life will feel like when I have manifested my dreams for my future. In the end, it's all about balance for me-- about accepting both my shadow and my light, working with both my masculine and feminine energies, and embracing both my contracted and expanded states of being. For the past year and a half, Sol Nia has been my everything: my passion, my bread and butter, my relationships, my work, my play, my mornings, my nights, my weekends. And now, we are both seeking balance. If I see Sol Nia as the child I initially envisioned her as, then we are both feeling the need for this stay-at-home mom to go out into the world and explore other gifts, other possibilities... tipping the scales back into balance.